The Valley, Part 4: A Feast

"I want a crumb, but you are a FEAST.
I want a song, but you are a SYMPHONY.
I want a star, but you are a GALAXY.
I've resolved that I'm much better off
with what you have for me." -Bebo Norman

In the night I continued to walk through the sand and over rocks. I let my thoughts wander. In my imagination I began to touch, feel, and smell the feast which the Father was preparing on the table before me. Oh I was so hungry! I snapped to reality and found my feet treading in a lush field of moist grass. I looked up and saw the stars. I breathed in the beauty and lifted my hands. "Holy Spirit, rain your blessing down upon me. I know you want to. Let me know your love."

The night of feasting began with a call from a friend, "I'll pick you up at 3:30." It was Black Friday. Traffic was horrendous; she arrived at 4. We spent another 2 hours in the car maneuvering downtown to pick up Brielle, and finally found our ghetto cafe where we sat and enjoyed conversation over greasy food.

After food and a good measure of venting our woes to one another, I suggested we pray. I had told them of this desert and the night alone, and how hungry I was for the Love of God in form of fellowship. I also told them of the glorious revelation I had received that joy is found in the midst of all things! As we drove to a quiet place to park and pray in the car we joked about going to get after-dinner drinks at some bar. Alisha said "I could use a beer after talking like that..." I said, "You know what I'd really like? To get drunk on the Spirit..."

Little did I suspect that the Father chuckled to himself when I said this.

We prayed in the Spirit. Brielle prophesied over me and Alisha. I got really really really drunk. I spent the rest of the evening resting in the Love of the Father, in his silliness, as he spoke to me and played with me in my thoughts.

We three friends sat in Empire Cafe in Columbia city and laughed over tea. It was so great because Jesus was really demanding attention from the other people in the coffee shop. He would talk really loud, and I would say "Shhhh" and we would both crack up. I didn't care, obviously, because I was so happy. I laughed because it was contrary to my nature to demand so much attention. But I was shining so brightly and getting such funny images that I would literally laugh out loud and not care what heads turned.

Then there were the times I would just sit in silence and giggle to myself. I tried to heal the steam burn on Brielle's hand. I tried three times, and when nothing happened, I forgot what I was doing and just started playing with her fingers. As I wiggled her pretty fingers I sang "you are soooo beautiful." They were His fingers.

I got this hilarious picture of Love Casting Out Fear. LOVE was a giant monster of light going CHOMP CHOMP RUMP RUMP (nom nom nom) and FEAR was like AAAHHHH, running away on wimpy little legs. Haha, I laughed really hard at that one.

I was childlike, simple, and secure. I drank and drank and drank as He spoke to me and assured me that I had not been hoping in vain, that I would receive everything I desired and MORE. He told me that He wanted my heart most of all, because I was made by Him, His child, His creation, and all he wanted to do was sing songs of my beauty.

I rejoice over you with gladness,
I quiet you with my love,
I rejoice over you with singing.

There is more to this feast. That whole night I got the sense that this was only the beginning; it was only the appetizer.

Since that night I have had more of an awareness that He is surrounding me. There is more joy in ordinary things, and He is always in the same room with me if not sitting right next to me, looking over my shoulder as I write, in the gym as I coach, or smiling over people and showing me where to direct His love.

This first course whetted my hunger, and gave me strength to endure the night.