Ahhh Vermont

Yeah, baby. I'm in Vermont. Rollin' with the hills and the trees and the misty haze that's hanging over this beautiful state. The red-eye was EXCELLENT, in that I slept but barely, conscious of how incredibly uncomfortable I was the whole time. Ah, well... I flew into JFK, New York around 6:30 est, just in time for me to see a beautiful ball of fire rise from the misty horizon. I saw the beginnings of the sunrise then shut the shade because the guy next to me was nodding in and out of sleep.

I had just enough time to doze off at JFK before they called "Flight 4376 to Burlington, general boarding, please." I didn't care how uncomfortable, I was determined to sleep hardcore on the last hour leg of my trip. I did.

I texted Eileen as I got off of the plane "I'm wearing light blue!" she texted back "I have red boots!" We found each other. She expected to take me straight to her apartment in Middlebury so I could sleep, but we ended up eating brunch (breakfast for me, lunch for her) at the Penny Cluse Cafe in downtown Burlington, then touring this "big" Vermont city for a couple hours: Lake Champlain waterfront, University of Vermont, trees, trees, trees, fog...

Vermont-ians love their people. They love their state. They love their ice-cream. And they just make it work.

I was flying high on happiness during the tour. I denied that I was exhausted until we got to her apartment and I flopped on the couch. Oh boy... those 99 burpees are going to be TOUGH this evening. Don't worry, guys. I won't let you down. The day isn't over yet.

Tonight: sleep.

Tomorrow: Marlboro College tour. Middlebury town tour. 98 burpees.

So ready for this

I'm gettin' outta town. I'm lettin' go.
I'm leavin' all my fears behind, yeah.

I'll try to keep y'all updated on how my trip is going. It might be hard to get to a computer, but I'll be taking lots of pictures. I'll post an album as soon as my fast is up.

You JCCFers: keep me updated on the Open. I know you are all going to rock this one so hard.

Oh, and Seattle: don't miss me. Because I won't miss you.

Ciao!

NEWness

Flower god, god of the spring, beautiful, bountiful,
Cold-dyed shield in the sky, lover of versicles,
Here I wander in April
Cold, grey-headed; and still to my
Heart, Spring comes with a bound, Spring the deliverer,
Spring, song-leader in woods, chorally resonant;
Spring, flower-planter in meadows,
Child-conductor in willowy
Fields deep dotted with bloom, daisies and crocuses:
Here that child from his heart drinks of eternity:
O child, happy are children!
She still smiles on their innocence,
She, dear mother in God, fostering violets,
Fills earth full of her scents, voices and violins:
Thus one cunning in music
Wakes old chords in the memory:
Thus fair earth in the Spring leads her performances.
One more touch of the bow, smell of the virginal
Green - one more, and my bosom
Feels new life with an ecstasy.

-RLS

Jesus is Lord, and He is Risen. No one can take away this joy of mine.

There were 17,500 people, all singing praise to Jesus, more than 500 baptisms.
He is Alive,
He has Risen, and
He is here in Seattle.

Go Mars Hill Church!
Go Jesus!

Heaven came down and glory filled my soul

I'm filled with excitement and anticipation at the next few days. The last week has had ups and downs, and I've had to tell myself many times to be still in the midst of the excitement. Monday couldn't come any slower, but I've been having so much fun living out this week and making the most of every opportunity.

I've been in the gym every day this week, which is really nice. It's a good thing I love my job, because being so exhausted by Friday just wouldn't be worth it. I find myself trusting in God more toward the end of the week, so it seems my enthusiasm is richer by Friday. It's funny how that works. Makes me laugh every time. Also been working on a letter to the congressman and senators, requesting further contention on my behalf with the ss situation. That's been a little exciting. We ended up not moving to our new apartment, so Papa will have to do that without me. Not so good for him, as he is hella busy during the week and has to finish cleaning by next Saturday. Oh boy... my goal this weekend is to get things prepared for him to make a smooth transition, i.e. box up my books, take my bed down...etc.

The walls in my room are already bare. It makes me a little sad, but I'm excited to see what my new space will be like. I like spontaneous and unexpected change like this. It spices up my life.

The CrossFit Games are still going on and it psyches me up to be part of it. I did the 5th event of 6 this morning, and was effing destroyed. I laid out in middle of the parking lot for about 20 minutes afterward, like a puddle, letting the sun soak me up. There is one more workout that I will do on Monday morning before taking off to Vermont. Hopefully I'll get some good rest before that happens. I'm pretty physically and emotionally wrecked from this long, busy week.

On days like this, I thank God for his everlasting joy that I never seem to lose even in the midst of weariness. I think he's given that to me for a reason.

Last night I went to the Mars Hill Good Friday service with the Days. Lauren, Colin, Colin's sister Erin, and her fiance Jon (the latter two are living in Annapolis, and want to hang out sometime when I live there. I hope to introduce you Naptown folks to them. Really nice people.) The service was freaking INTENSE. It was dark, with red lights and smoke, heavy music and really upsetting. There was a film about Jesus' trial and execution with disturbing images. I realized how necessary it is to see those images to understand how he really did suffer. What does suffering sound like? What does it look like? That's really all that I deserved, and He took it upon himself.

By His stripes He paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation.
He is the Lord!

At the end of the service the lights turned bright as we sang "This I know, He has paid my ransom!" I was floored. Every year Good Friday and Easter mean a little bit more than the last because I come into it on a different part of my journey, and have experienced Christ in incredible ways. How much He really cares!

"No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father." John 10:18

I'm stoked for Easter tomorrow. I'll be spending the morning with the Days, going to Qwest Field for the Mars Hill service (They're hoping for 20,000 people and 500 baptisms!). I can't wait to hear everyone praising God in that stadium. It's going to be EPIC!

Then dinner at Salty's on Alki with the Days.

Go, beloved. East of Eden, out of sin, into the Rising Son.

I'm so stoked for Easter this year.
Every year it seems to mean much more than the last.

Now, eternally

If you know me well then you know I'm a dreamer. I like to think of the future, and of who and what we will all become. As individuals, towns and communities, and the Body. I feed off of what I see in the future. And I have a fire burning within me that compels me to shout out the ideal of things in the universe. This IMAGE feeds me, and I know we are but reflections of this. The idea of "act as if" intrigues me. That is, when we act as if things are the way they should be, then eventually it will become so.

Obviously, living for the future is not what we are called to. The Lord, called the Great I AM, is the king of BEING. Being is present tense, and in him is rest and repose. I find this idea, above all, most fascinating and inspiring. It seems to me that living right now is the way to be closest to the eternal One, and to Eternity. I find it fascinating, because Eternity--where there is no time--is best emulated in the moment, where there is no concern for past or present.

The challenge of living is to live in the moment when God has promised to fulfill, and life seems to be slowly but surely tipping over a peak. Through this last trial, then into a new season. All you can think of is the next season, the full one. The struggle is to trust that it will come. Soon or later, but it will come.

It gets even harder when you have the calender to tell you when it will come. Then you're lost in a flurry of anticipation leading up to the day, and you hardly enjoy what is before you. I started a new journal, in which I've resolved to write only of the moment. "Do not be anxious, but in prayer and supplication, with thankfulness..." I learn to ask the Lord to bless the moment. I've already prayed for the future, but how often to I just sit back in my chair and thank God for the rain and cold? I know the sun will come, and I've thanked him a million times for that.

I have started this journal right before I go on my trip, resolving to enjoy every day up to it (by the Grace of God, with his patience), because I find that I enjoy the trip better when I have no regrets. Writing the day out really really helps with this. Yesterday I had a nervous breakdown, and had to sit down to write. Ok, Lord... I listened, and lo and behold, He had much to say about this week before leaving. He knew that the spirits of anxiety and and fear were lingering, ready to attack in my weakness. He said:

"Do not be anxious about anything... but tell me what you want... Doesn't the Father in Heaven know that you need these things?... Doesn't the Father in Heaven also give good gifts to those who ask him?... Do not fear.
"In righteousness you will be established
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
It will not come near you.
If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
...no weapon forged against you will prevail
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
"This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord.
"You are always with me (I love you with an everlasting love).
I hold you by your right hand
I guide you with my counsel
And afterward I take you into glory.
"The Lord your God is with you
He is mighty to save;
He takes great delight in you
And rejoices over you with singing."

So, I find myself looking to the future with hope then wrangling all my thoughts back to the task before me. It has been incredibly rewarding to say "Yes, Lord!" to his promises, then just sit back and "act as if" they are being worked out. How glorious and beautiful to live in such a state!

social security #

It is a season of waiting.

But surely the Lord forgets not His servants who love Him.

He contends with those who contend with us.

And He, primarily He, fights our battles.

"Use this world, do not consume it.
Never pursue pleasure, rather let it find you...
At the end of every day...
Where you made discipline your friend.
For pleasure never comes in what you hold,
But in what holds onto you--compelling you to care.
Release your grasp and in your open hand
You'll find the world."

A requiem for love, by Calvin Miller

I've heard from all of the five colleges I applied to. The tabs have come in. I am officially too cool for school!

In spite of the unhappy news I received from Harvard, Dartmouth, and Middlebury, I will still get to see Marlboro in a few weeks. Eileen Howard, a lovely friend of Laurel and Chad's, agreed to drive me and host me while I'm in Vermont. She lives a couple hours' drive from Marlboro and the airport (in the opposite direction), and has advised me into train routes from Vermont to D.C. After visiting the school, interviewing students, and sitting in on a class (perhaps two), I will spend about 20 hours on the train to get to Annapolis. Just in time for Croquet!

Then on the agenda: hang with family and friends until D&A's wedding on the 18th of May.

The change of pace will do me some good.

Jet City CrossFit

This is what I am going to miss the most when I leave. Each and every one of the people in my gym, all 40 of them or so, have changed my life. Each so unique in their expression of God's handiwork. One of my clients, with whom I've recently become good friends, told me the other day "I make these videos because I feel like I can never do enough for you guys. Sure, I pay, but even getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the base-boards in the gym will not be enough to repay you all for how you've changed my life."




Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God. Ecclesiastes 5:19

What the bleep do I know?

Laurel and Chad came to visit for a weekend. It just seemed to me that God deliberately lengthen those days for me so that I could enjoy them an squeeze all the goodness of spending time with my siblings. On Friday, I met them at MHGS, where I sat in on a part of their orientation, student questioning, etc. Afterward, Chad bore with us ladies as we went dress shopping until after dark. I found my bridesmaid dress! Saturday night we went over to Amy's house to watch the UFC fights. Here, I took my first ouzo shot (warming up for college). Sunday we went to church and listened to Pastor Mark talk about hell. Probably one of the most weighty and emotional sermons I have ever heard. Hearing the words "There is salvation..." was refreshing. Sunday afternoon we had brunch at Spring Hill, shopped for Acacia, and spent a good load of quality family time at home, taking the strengthsfinder... resting.

Apart from taking my first shot and stuff like that, I feel like I grew up a little bit during that weekend and came to understand a little bit about what I know. Firstly, there is big load of stuff that I don't know that I don't know. About most things I'm simply blind to my blindness. I don't even know what the world holds, there is darkness beyond the confines of my home and life. So much happening out in the world that I couldn't care less about (not because I'm indifferent, but simply because I don't know they are happening). Then there are things that I know that I don't know, and pursue them until I achieve them. These are the questions that I know I must ask. How do I come to the resolution of the matter I am currently faced with? And then there are an even smaller percentage of things that I know. Even in those things I find no rest or security. These are the certain things that God has chosen for me to be conscious of, the little bit he has entrusted me with--such a small percentage of His Universe. Life is surely blind living. I think we all live by faith whether we know it or not.