"Cogito ergo sum"

Happy Sunday everyone.

Next week is my last meet before state, and I need to qualify. My back is getting better, thank you to all who have been praying. I'm very excited to compete next weekend because I'm sure I will be ready. The meet yesterday was really small, and I went into it confident that my bars would be perfect. It wasn't perfect but I still finished my routine and had fun cheering my team on as we took the title with barely any effort.

Last night, after my meet, I was randomly inclined to sit down until midnight and make goals for life. I had a little spurt of excitement about life in general. It was very interesting. The second trimester for school started last week and I didn't get the chance to analyze the situation with school. Papa reminded me that I needed to graduate highschool with foreign language, and lab chemistry under my belt. I started Latin a couple weeks ago so when I get a chance to study Spanish it'll hopefully be a breeze. I plan on taking Spanish, Chemistry and Composition at Community college next year. We'll see how that goes.

We have a sun here in Seattle. It's been reminding me that spring is near. It makes me more jittery every day. yayayayay:)

I'm reading a book on the History of philosophy called Sophie's World which is actually a novel and you're learning the history right along with the characters. It is very catching. Next to Socrates my favorite philosopher so far is probably the Englishman John Locke(1632-1704) or at least I think his philosophy makes the most sense. When Acacia and Laurel come visit and start talking about school I'll be able to follow along a little more closely.

Thank you again for your prayers.

~Kallista Ianthe

I Am Able

just wanted to say that out loud

Believe

so it's the weekend again and I'm alone in the house and I just want to write to someone or tell someone something so I can forget my loneliness.

Dear Everyone,

In my free time I read. That's all I want to do. I'm falling in love with the characters in my books and I dream about them. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad. My mind is always eager to be in their world and that's the only place I want to be. I want to be doing what they're doing and going where they're going. I feel sorrow when I can't feel what they're feeling, because I've fallen into deep love. I guess that's just what good stories do to you.

Don't get me wrong though, I love my life, or at least convinced myself so. People may look at what I do and look at what I love and say that I'm crazy to be loving what I do, but that doesn't matter. I love what I do. I have worries that hurt me, but I can't think about them or they'll come true. I need to focus on Joy. Pathos.

I'm not really supposed to talk about how I feel when I feel bad during the week, which is a good idea, because I always need to be feeling good so I can convince the universe to give me what I desire, which is good feelings. But when I hold the bad stuff up all week I end up shoving it aside to take care of during the times I'm not thinking of gym. I hope I'm not making this too complicated. Anyway, this has been hard but I'm getting used to it. I have my journal to confide in, and my good family.

I learned something from Judge Nola, a judge/coach that comes into the gym twice a month to help with mental work. She taught me mental choreography, which is a series of words that keep your mind on the task at hand. For example when on beam you just want to be thinking about what your doing instead of what's going on around you so you may say things to yourself like "straight" or "head up" or " have fun". You build a strict choreography to what your thinking while you're doing skills. It's helps enormously...

I'm growing and I don't like it. I'm bigger and my leotards aren't fitting. It makes me mad each time I grow because I know that soon I won't be little skinny Kallista anymore, but more of a tall womanly figure. I want to stay small forever. Small and Powerful is my wish. My coach said she wants a body like me, slim, long lines but she'll keep her boobs. I think she pretty hot as she is, if I may say so. After she said that I felt a little more proud of me as myself. I whispered "Zone" under my breath. :)

I want Laurel and Chad to come visit me. I want to meet someone new and make a friend or be a friend to someone else... blah blah blah I just go on and on, and I get lost in my own thoughts, I feel like I'm not myself sometimes. Thank you for bearing with me, thank you for listening to my thoughts and caring. I want to be true to my own self. I want to keep discovering and I want to be a genius like all the characters in my books and I want to laugh, be content, happy, joyful, patient, compassionate, and go high in my tumbling. More than anything else, I repeat, I want to discover, to learn, and God and the universe will bend to my desires if I just....

Believe.

~Kallista Ianthe

Weekends mean coffee, shopping and long posts.

I haven't really posted about what I'm doing for a long time.

We moved to Georgetown a few weeks ago as you already know and settle in after a weekend or so of dodging stacked boxes and overturned furniture. But we're settled in alright and getting back to homework and Crossfit. Gymnastics practice is the highlight of my day, which is a very good sign. I took a whole week off two weeks ago because the sick bug attacked me. I was emotionally and physically exhausted that whole week and getting back into training was challenging. But I'm back to full training plus extra in the living room in the mornings. I love the feeling I get when I come home from practice at night knowing that I gave everything a had to my training and got somewhere. Wonderful feeling!

I went to a college gymnastics meet last night: UW Huskies vs UCLA Bruins. U-C-L-A Fight Fight Fight! UCLA dominated the competition! Yesssssssss. I spoke with the head coach of the UCLA team and she remembered me from the camps and gave me a big long tight hug. She says she remembers my work ethic and told me to keep her posted on how I am doing. She also knows of my coaches, Yulia and Guennadi and their reputation. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

Caden's 18 months yesterday and I'm exactly 14 1/2 today. In thirteen days we'll have been in Seattle for six months. Wow.

Along with Orson Scott Card books I'm reading and taking notes on Denis Waitley's book Seeds of Greatness. I truly recommend this book to anyone who plans on being successful in life. There're some great tips and inspiration.

My next meet is in 2 weeks in Portland OR in case anyone's wondering.

I love Orson Scott Card!

We love Orson Scott Card so much, Stefan and I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a sequel and another paralleling series by him. Hooray!
After Speaker of the Dead comes Xenocide and then Children of the Mind. Then another series set in the same time and place but from the perspective of another child:



I can't wait to read them!