You're brilliant, grace marked your heart.

I'll be headed up the hill to hang out with Lauren in a few minutes, but I just wanted to give y'all a taste of how blessed I am to be where I am.

I just got back from a little bus adventure to Pike's Place Market to buy a gift for Lauren. It felt so good to be on my own. I finally feel comfortable going downtown by myself. I just dress up, grab my 75 cents to pay for bus fare, take a deep breath and embrace my independence. I love Seattle so much.

I got home and turned on Switchfoot's latest album Hello Hurricane!, which my friend Greg compiled on a MP3 along with some Anberlin and chill-out music. I've been wanting this album for a long long time. Jesus knew that it would make me happy, so he worked things out. I didn't even have to buy it. So happy!

Yesterday Greg, Eleni, and I went up to CrossFit Advantage to workout with a big group of friends and CrossFitters. I saw Natalya for the first time in forever. She's coming down to Seattle on Thursday, and we might go for dinner or something. Her life is really exciting right now (she's going to INDIA in September!), and it will be a blessing to hear about it. Love that little joy so much.

I have my French Final tomorrow. I have to finish the final touch-ups on the writing requirement, then I'll be all set. My partner for the Oral part is a cute Japanese girl, Karera. Her home was devastated in the Tsunami. Her family is fine, which is good, and she has such a great attitude. "We will overcome," she said. She makes me really happy, and I'm going to miss her. This will be my last time at Seattle Central until... I'm not sure. Maybe never. I'm already starting to feel nostalgic. It's been such a delightful experience to be in a classroom. Madame Lonay is retiring after 30 some years of teaching. I'm really gonna miss her. She is a wonderful lady, and an excellent teacher.

Laurel and Chad are coming next weekend. I'm really looking forward to seeing them.

I feel lavished with the gifts of my Father right now. I'm just throwing it all off, and finding joy just going along for the ride as I hold his hand. He's so tender with His children as we work out our lives, through the storms and struggles, and He's so near as he blesses us. I'm rejoicing in the truth "I have come that they may have life and have it in FULL!"

A season of IMMENSE JOY

It feels good to sit and write a blog post after all that has happened in the past weeks.

By the title of this post you can probably tell that all has been well with me, but I think BITTERSWEET describes it better. It's been a roller-coaster to say the least.

Right now the weather in Seattle is glorious. Things are blossoming, welcoming spring, and it seems the general mood of the city is beginning to change. Winter lasts nine really long months here, and you almost begin to forget what the sun feels like and question why the hell you live here in the first place. The newness motivated me to clean my room, and put up new pictures on my wall-- things that make me happy.

We're having Lynn over tonight for movie and corned beef. I guess we're a little late on the St. Patrick's celebration. Whatever on the green beer thing. I don't care much for it. Apparently God used St. Patrick in PRETTY AMAZING ways.

So, I'm going to Mars Hill Church. I like it a lot. When Daniel and Acacia were here, my big bear of a brother encouraged me to start attending. The make up is of a younger crowd, which contrasts greatly with what I found at the church I was going to in Rainier Valley. Emerald City Bible Fellowship is small and diverse, and I liked it for those reasons. Mars Hill is young and large, and I feel like it's more community oriented. I was approached on my first day of going alone and asked if I wanted to serve. ON MY FIRST DAY. Yeah, I felt totally welcome. I realized that I just needed to be needed.

I'm serving on the greeting team. I hand out programs and float in the sanctuary to help new people find their way. It seems fitting, as it was a "floater" who approached me on the first day comforting me and making me feel more welcome and safe in a place than I ever have before.

Last Sunday was a really bad day. I didn't have the opportunity to go to church in the morning, and spent the day in a slight emotional delirium. Interactions with Pa were not pleasant. In the evening I felt I had to get away. I ended up running to the only place I new that I would be SAFE: yeah, Mars Hill. They have an evening service I had never been to. I jumped on next bus to downtown, got off in the underground tunnel, and ran 10 blocks through rain and hail, arriving drenched. Actually running through the rain lifted my spirits and I was able to stop crying to listen to the sermon.

A blessing awaited me when I went up for prayer afterwards. A gift. A surprise.... Like hearing the audible words of the Lord saying to me "I love you KALLI!" Of all the prayer deacons, I approached a kind red-headed lady named Amanda, whom I talked to about my life for a couple minutes before she prayed for me. Then she asked me if I was able to connect with a community group. I told her I couldn't because I work and have school in the evenings usually, but I was really needing people and community at this time in my life.

She said, I'll be right back. Stay here.

She came back with a young women named Lauren Day who said she was interested in hanging out with me during the day. She lives in Beacon Hill, about a mile uphill from G-town, has two kids, and is at home in the afternoon. "Come hang out," she said.

I connected with her on Wednesday, and we had a really great conversation. What the conversation entailed is a wonder of God:

She's from Maryland. I was immediately excited by this and I told her I would be going to St. John's next fall and my family is living over there. It took some time for us to put it all together, but eventually I mentioned the name "Daniel Elkins" and her eyes widened.
"NO WAY! You know Daniel Elkins!?"

Lauren's husband Colin mentored Daniel back when he first became a Christian, and they sponsored him when he went on mission over seas. Of course... While he was here, I had heard Daniel mention a man whom he knew and was trying to connect with at Mars Hill. Colin Day. That name had sounded so familiar.

What were the chances of me being in the Days' house at that moment, in my time of need? Probably like 1 in a katrillion. Lauren normally never went to the 5pm service, she was just there to talk to Amanda that day. That day I had had a really bad day, and called upon the Lord with the song by Rush of Fools:

"Come like the DAY.
Come chase away the darkness..."

CrossFit Games Open

I'm hitting it hard for my JET CITY CROSSFIT TEAM this year!

Here is our first video mash-up, put together by our very own John Parker:



(Yes, I'm the one wearing pink argyle and pointing my toes.)

All this hype about competition psyches me up again as I reminisce about my past experiences at the Games. It feels SO good to compete for my team. It's great to work alongside and struggle with people again... Although training alone is just about as rewarding, it is not nearly as fun!

Also, here's a little LOVE FROM THE COMMUNITY on the main CrossFit Games site.

Man, I'm so excited for this.

Big? Small.

You've opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You've captured my heart with your love
'Cause nothing on earth is as (crazy-awesome) beautiful as you.

I marvel everyday at the personality of the One who created this flower, but also causes devastating disasters throughout the world, such as the earthquake/tsunami this last week in Japan. It's so terrible, as in terror, as in God is Great. As in... I fear him.

I am once more brought back to a place of utter AWE at what He can do. I laugh as I think of humanity, how we think we're so big and powerful and in control of our lives. We think we can live our lives based on reason and rationality, and yet there is so much that we must admit cannot be quantified or determined. We are silly in this way. I laugh at our smallness.

Ha Ha.

Wow, Life is so precious. I hope God holds those people and blesses them one day with the same measure that he has afflicted them. He loves them, I believe he will.

This is home

Arizona was the place of my infancy. I have only pleasant memories of our houses there. I think this is where I first ate sap, slept in a tree house, and loved pink.

Claremont, CA was the place of my childhood. Going to elementary school, spending long days outside with friends, going to the park, being clumsy at gymnastics, having my first crush, climbing trees, and falling out of them...

In SLO, CA I grew up in many ways. I grew in my imagination, spending hours outside alone. I grew in solitude and learned to listen to my heart. Those were the most memorable homeschooling years, when I learned to love my studies, CrossFit, and gymnastics became serious.

Gymnastics brought us to Seattle. This place is my home more than any of these of others, because I have suffered and grown rapidly in body and spirit. I've become a woman. I have experienced the greatest redemption in my family, which has changed my life and outlook of the world. It is home because I've learned to appreciate the moment, the place, and the circumstances I find myself in.

Obviously, it is home now to me because I live here. But I'm beginning to think that it will remain home to me even when I leave for college. I applied to schools all on the east coast, unconsciously, I keep telling myself. But I must admit now that part of me wants to get away. As far away as possible. I don't think it is that I want away from Seattle, though, but more that I want to be free of the security of home.

I've seen it happen with all my siblings: at a certain point we all yearn to be out of the nest, to try our wings in the wide open sky. The itch to get away causes restlessness, and eventually orneriness. What was once comfortable becomes a source of our annoyances. We can't stand the place anymore, the people bore us, we just want to get up and leave comfort and security for something more unexpected.

I love this PLACE, the RHYTHM of life, the PEOPLE. EVERYTHING. Even the culture is starting to fascinate me, in a strange "I'll just stand back and observe" sort of way. I realize how much great music there is here. I've never seen such a dense concentration of people who long so fervently for "self-expression" and "I'm special-ness." In other words, this place is very liberal. I'm sorta beginning to understand what that means.

So it's not the PLACE that I want to get away from, but more the security. I guess I could say that I'm becoming wander-lust. But I know that even when I leave, I will certainly settle down into a new rhythm, again relying on the security of routine. So I'm still not sure what it is.... I guess I just want to move on.

There is something else about home that I hold closely to my heart, hoping that I will never forget. It is rest. This is home to me because I've learned to do this. I love it because it is predictable, everything has a place and time, and I understand where to find things. I've almost memorized the transit system, the order of streets in the city, and where all the districts are. I can understand what people are talking about when they tell me where they live, instead of nodding and saying "I have no idea." My body and my soul like the rhythm of the everyday things of Seattle. That is something I will miss when I leave.

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

Lead Follow

All I can think about is our connection and His lead. Where is He going? Wherever, I don't mind. Sometimes He throws me into a spin and we lose connection for a second, but then I'm right back in His arms. The comfort is found in knowing that He is always in control, and He always knows the next move. All I do is follow, and think about my hands in His. We move to the rhythm of His heartbeat, His grace, His lifesong. This dance, this life, goes on and on. The thrill in the spins, the bounce in the basic step. I know not to lead Him, but to lean on Him when I'm unsure.

It is beautiful, this dance.

Accepted 2

MARLBORO

General Information

• Date established: 1946
• Type: residential, coed, private liberal arts college
• Total enrollment: 330
• Student-faculty ratio: 8:1
• Average class size: 10 students
• Percentage of classes with fewer than 20 students: 94

"Marlboro College offers a student-centered approach to education that is structurally and culturally different from other colleges. Unfettered by generic course requirements, each student works with their faculty advisor to choose an individualized course of study. For graduation, seniors complete a self-designed Plan of Concentration that is reviewed by an outside evaluator who is an expert in the student's field."


Mark, the Director of Admissions, has been very cordial and communicate during the process. The first time we spoke he interviewed me over the phone about my life and interests etc. He said the admissions committee even googled my name and found the "You just got schooled..." poster, which impressed them greatly. He told me that this morning at the meeting they were very concerned about my ability to continue cultivating my passions. "I sure hope our gym is big enough for her," they said.

Yeah, this is pretty much awesome. Fall in Vermont takes my breath away.

Accepted 1

ST. JOHN'S

General Information

FOUNDED: The College was founded in Annapolis in 1696 as King William's School and chartered in 1784 as St. John's College. A second campus was opened in 1964 in Santa Fe. St. John's is a four-year, co-educational, liberal arts college with no religious affiliation.

CURRICULUM (undergraduate): Integrated arts and sciences program based on a chronological study of seminal works of Western civilization. The following curriculum is required of all undergraduates:

• Seminar: 4 years -- philosophy, theology, political science, literature, history, economics, psychology.
• Mathematics: 4 years -- geometry, astronomy, algebra, calculus, relativity.
• Language: 4 years -- Ancient Greek, French, English composition, English poetry.
• Science: 3 years -- biology, chemistry, atomic theory, physics.
• Music: 1 year -- theory, composition.

DEGREE GRANTED (undergraduate): Bachelor of Arts.

FACULTY-STUDENT RATIO (undergraduate): 1 to 8

CLASS SIZE (undergraduate): Seminars of about 20 students are led by 2 faculty members. Tutorials and laboratory sessions usually have 12 to 16 students led by 1 faculty member.

LIBRARY FACILITIES: The libraries in Annapolis and Santa Fe contain over 100,000 and 60,000 volumes respectively. Each library houses a number of special collections, and each campus has a music library.

LOCATION: The 36-acre eastern campus is located in the heart of historic Annapolis, which is the capital of Maryland and also a seaport town close to Washington, D.C. and Baltimore. Nestled at 7300 feet above sea level in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, the nation’s oldest capital city, Santa Fe combines Hispanic, Native American, and Anglo cultures. The 250-acre Santa Fe campus offers both spectacular scenery and the cultural attractions of the Southwest.

So stoked.

I just talked with the Director of Admissions about my SSN predicament (aka FAFSA bleh). She said "Oh boy... well I'm going to talk with Mr. Christensen (dean) and [director of financial aid] and make sure they are aware of the situation. We don't want this to be a problem for you, Kallista. Because we want you. No matter who you are related to."

Hehe

Top 5 Strengths

MAXIMIZER
People strong in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb. Strengths, whether yours or someone else's, fascinate you. And having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it toward excellence. It's more fun. It's more productive. And, counterintuitively, it is more demanding.



RESPONSIBILITY
People strong in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable.


POSITIVITY
People strong in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do. You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.


BELIEF
People with a strong Belief theme have certain core values that are enduring causing them to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics both in themselves and others. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.


LEARNER
You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. People strong in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.

Two really good reasons why I should be 21 NOW

Seattle MUSIC





Papa saw Morcheeba (Skye) last night, and Yann is playing at Neumos this weekend. Not an "all ages" club, unfortunately.

So lame. Maybe it's fake ID time.