blurry in passing

Going up Lake Washington Blvd with Daniel when he was here visiting. As he tells me about his childhood we admire the trees and the ducks and the reflection of the sky on the water, floating bridge and Bellevue across the lake.













I love my big bro.

A question of identity

I'm reading this book called "Why are all the Black Kids sitting together in the Cafeteria?" by Beverly Daniel Tatum, which discusses racial identity. The part that really hit home for me was when Tatum talks about the time of adolescence, when kids begin to ask the questions Who am I? Who will I be for the rest of my life? What is my personality? They explore their world in a different way. They look around them for people they connect with and relate to. It is the time of greatest growth and development. I find myself asking myself these questions so often these days. Who am I and who am I becoming? I've heard a lot that you are shaped by your circumstances. You are shaped by your family, your social and economic predisposition. You are shaped by your experiences. I look back to how I've grown up, how my sisters have grown up. I analyze my personality type and wonder how it fits into the world. Where am I headed in this life? This life, seemingly meaningless (for all things pass away), is here for a purpose. It must be. Why else would the universe exist? In growing up I find myself identifying with certain people more than others. Still I know I'm not of the world and feel most of all that I am identifying with the one who is orchestrating the circumstances, bringing me through these experiences, giving me wonderful people in my life. I find myself searching my past for the evidence of his influence, wondering. Wondering where this is all going. I come to the realization of what it means to be dead in myself, counting everything I hold dear as loss, and coming to be identified with the one who created me. I begin to understand what Galations 2:20 really means. "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." Our hopes are one. Our thoughts are one. Our dreams are one. My lips are his. My hands are his. My feet are his.

I feel driven, knowing my hopes are his hopes. But not driven in the rushing frantic way that often overwhelms me. It's quiet. Waiting. I am assured that this moment is all I have. It is the present, a gift, and is to be lived to the fullest.

I'm sure I will be writing more of this in the future.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it."
Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

intense parkour action

These guys have amazingly resilient bodies and are not afraid of anything, it seems.

i would totally do this if i didn't get hurt so many times as a gymnast. i like to fly and be upside down, but it's the landing part that i find no pleasure in. i receive a great joy in watching people get the most out of the body that was given to them, though. at least i can watch.

thats some really good stuff.

a taste of philia

Seattle is awesome. I've said that a lot and mean it everytime. The sun is setting at fricken 8:00 at night and it will only get better until September. And we're actually seeing sun these days... though it's been pretty off and on. The lilacs are blooming. I set some in my room and now the whole house smells heavenly.


On Friday I had an amazing opportunity to spend some time with my friends Natalya, Cody, and Tobin from Lynnwood. They came to see me, check out the gym and workout. It was a lot of fun. They love to have fun and make jokes, and don't seem to take life too seriously, which is good for me. Friends like these make me realize that life isn't just all work and no play. And it's possible to laugh in the midst of busyness. It's good to have people that you can just be yourself around. They love you at your best and at your worst. We share a passion of improving peoples lives and living life to the fullest.

Saturday I competed at the Pacific NW Championships at Thrush's place in Sumner. I was pleasantly surprised to see more CrossFitters at this competition than I have at any other Olympic lifting competition. There were a good number of lifters from Vancouver, WA and CrossFit Eastside in Bellevue. CrossFit has really brought the sport into the light for the world, which is really awesome. I made my weight class by the slimmest margin (one thousandth of a kg!). The Snatch didn't go as well as I hoped. I missed the first 2 attempts, and made the 3rd, finishing at 52 kg. I redeemed myself in the clean and jerk, opening with a competition PR, 65kg and finished with 70kg! It totalled 122, which was one of my benchmarks for the year. Pretty stoked! To top it off a couple of our clients came to cheer me on, including Truli, an 11-year-old girl I've been working on the lifts with.

After the competition I drove up to Lynnwood for the 20th birthday party for Spencer Hunsinger, one of the CF Advantage trainers. Natalya and I were the only sober ones by the end of the night. We just watched people get really really drunk and then left when they became obnoxious. I was disgusted and delighted by the scene. I have yet to find the party girl inside of me.

Last week was exhausting. Papa and I both seem to be on a plateau in our training. But we keep trucking a long. Hopefully this week will be better. Daniel arrives tonight, and I'm really looking forward to spending time with him this week.

Sunday I got to go to Natalya's church. It was a joint youth service that she said only happens every three months. It had the feeling similar to a rock concert and took me a little bit to get into. It contrasts to the Gospel style worship at Emerald City Bible Fellowship. Once I did get into it I had a great time. I had a chance to tell Natalya what God has been speaking to me, which is really awesome. She's praying for me. I'm really glad to know her, one of the sweetest young ladies I have had a chance to hang with. She loves Jesus, has a really big heart for all her friends, is super optimistic and loves to laugh and eat and workout. My kinda girl. I really hope to get to know her better this summer, when she will be having adventures in Seattle more frequently.

CrossFit Regionals is in one month. I'm excited. It's gonna be rockin'. We are getting our own team out there to have some fun. It will be good for LiS to get a better taste of the competition. CrossFit is not just a training program. It's a sport. Competition is a different world outside the gym, it's bigger and it's better. It's good for our athletes to see that. Regardless of where they are coming from or where they are going, it will be truly inspirational and motivating.

Discipleship

Discipleship is good because it forces you to distill the most important things. 1) It’s all about Jesus. Before you ever try to give, you need to be with Jesus. Spend time with Him, learn from Him, begin to discover the depth of His love for you. Know that your wounds and giftings are not by accident. 2) When you serve, listen first. Draw close to people, step into their world, and don’t assume that you have all the answers. 3) Don’t go alone. Chaos and pain will come, and you need friends in your life who will hold you up and remind you of who you really are.
-Dave Stalsbroten, my friend and brother in Christ.

where is THERE?

"So how do you train the mental aspect?"
"You just go THERE."
-Chris Spealler


CrossFit is intense. And it hurts like hell.

You may ask: WHY in the world do we do it if it hurts so much? Well, I ask myself that question every day. What's so fulfilling about doing a workout when afterwards you are lying on your back, questioning which way is up, and your heart is about to burst out of your chest? I watch it happen to my clients every single day. And it puzzles me. Why do they keep coming back?

We have to be careful with our new clients. Sometimes people's minds are stronger than their bodies. Their mind doesn't tell them to stop when it hurts and they keep going beyond their physical capacity. I've seen it happen too often. Yes, folks, we have mildly RHABDO-ed some people because we forgot to tell them to slow down. (It happens a lot with jumping pullups and kettlebell swings, so if these elements are incorporated in your baseline WOD, I recommend taking them out.) There are freaks out there who have never been athletic, but have the most strong and resilient minds I have ever encountered. They can easily get in the groove, turn their minds off, and not stop till the task is finished. I believe that those people have the ability to go THERE.

But where is THERE?

I like to think of every workout as a journey. The goal: run the race with virtuosity and cross the line in one piece. As in every journey, there will be obstacles: the physical ones(the task at hand, the barbell, etc) , and the mental and spirtitual ones. You cannot avoid them. Your only option is to attack them with full force. And prevail.

That place is talked about a lot, especially from those who are training for the CrossFit games. You get to a point in elite competition when the competition becomes solely mental. It becomes a competition of mental capacity. The playing field is level as far as the physical obstacles. You must lift that barbell over your head 10 times, climb over the wall, jump on the box etc. Athletes training for the games are no doubt competent to overcome these obstacles, but the obstacles that are the hardest to overcome are the mental demons that follow pain around and keep you from really giving it your all. STOP! REST! TAKE A BREAK! I DON'T LIKE THIS! These thoughts come before you really need to listen to them. You must ignore them. When you do you will find the place.

One thing I've learned in my experience with CrossFit competitions (i.e my experience at the 2008 CrossFit Games) is that I am capable of far more than I think I am. Even as an elite level CrossFitter, I am still learning to find that place. Some days I find it easier than others, some days I don't find it at all. There are tips I've heard from my friends and fellow competitors that I put to practice as best I can. But just like people have to work to master the olympic lifts, discovering that mental place and developing the ability to say no to those thoughts is a skill and must be worked for. No matter how much people try to teach me, it is something I must learn. PRACTICE.

The truth is that everyone has a limit. You will get to a point where your body breaks down no matter how fit you are. The question is, how soon will you hit it? That is the quest for the one aspiring for the games, to expand those boundaries, constantly push those limits.

The bottom line is this: you will reach your mental capacity before you reach your physical capacity. THERE is that place in between. Where you have overcome the thoughts that accompany pain, you ignore your mind's screaming appeal. That's when you really begin to push the boundaries of your physical abilities. That is when you build and expand.

But you need to know when to use discretion when working out. The point is not to kill yourself, but to challenge and stimulate yourself. It's important to know your limits.

THERE is that place where you no longer feel pain. you are comfortable with uncomfortable. you turn your mind off and let your body go go go.


7 Tips for the CrossFitter seeking that place:

1. If you need to set the barbell down do not step away! Even better, keep your hands on the barbell at all times. I know you hate the barbell, but it is your friend. Stay close.

2. Get used to working out to music and silence. Some people like music because it drowns out the sound of your breathing. I find that hearing my self gasping for air tends to psyche me out and bring me away from the place. Then again, practice working out without music for further challenge. You don't get music when working at life. So get used to both.

3. Count down. Take minimal breaks. If you need to set the bar down say "3-2-1 go" out loud to yourself then pick it up. Or have your coach count it out.

4. Try working out by yourself in a quiet room occasionally. This way there are no distractions or external motivations. You find the drive within yourself. Then when you workout with people it's super motivating.

5. Really commit to the concept of variation. Workout in all kinds of weather, circumstances, and states of mind... yes, even when you feel shitty. I've found that I set many of my PRs when I'm feeling shitty. It literally gives me a new kind of confidence. Like, the feeling I can conquer the world.

6. Don't calculate. Don't regulate. Think about getting the work done, not about how many sets you will break the 21 thrusters into. JUST GO.

7. Literally say NO to thoughts. It helps me to say it out loud, and even talk back in an aggressive voice. NO! I will not put the barbell down. I will do one more rep and show pain who's boss.


Hey CrossFitters out there! Do you have any more tips to share?

Nope they were wrong. Strength is not the productive application of force.

Welcome to the new CrossFit LiS

Bethany sporting her awesome camo leggings. Totally psyched me up. :D

Andy's tired. literally.

The erg holds the essence of PAIN. Beware.

And again, another(awesome) fashion statement made by bethany...

Yay Burpees! (we do a lot of those.)

The coaching crew at the Oly Cert in Puyallup March 20

(heart)


The forecast calls for pain.