Friday, February 19, 2010

dancing, sunshine and house beats.

happiness #1 :
i awoke at 7:55 to a grumpy voice asking me if i was doing the 8am class at CF. uhhhhhh...
it was dark in my house, the curtains were drawn, and i said to myself this is going to be the worst morning of my life. i pulled my bedhead back, rolled up my pajama pants and slipped some shoes on. before i opened the door i remember thinking when class was done i was gonna curl up in bed again. i turned the lock and pulled at the door and....

Behold, SUNSHINE!





that made my morning.



~



happiness #2 :

House Beats:



i really like the middle eastern feel combined with deep beats.

kinda makes me wanna to dance.


~


happiness #3

speaking of dancing....



papa and i just signed up for ballroom lessons. starting next friday!

:)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Rockin' at the gym

I had a really good time training today in the gym. It was a busy day. It is so incredibly fulfilling to see how much progress these guys have made since they have been with us. I love training them and watching them become better people by persevering through pain and suffering.

Deadlifts: Single rep max.

Here is proof of few of the many great max efforts put out there today:
Ben 190kg!


Andrew 173kg!


Cory 135kg!


Kim 79kg!


Rafael 180kg!

Matt 105kg (finished with 115)

Evan 135kg!


Chet Hay came to our gym last week and took some awesome pictures and this video of the WOD:
30 Box Jumps
30 Pushups
30 Kettlebell Swings
30 Pullups
30 Wall Balls


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

this last weekend i went to Auburn for a youth group retreat at Camp Berachah.

i went to youth group for the first time last wednesday. the youth pastor, Abdiel, and his wife, Ashley, made me feel so welcome, and i connected with them very easily. i didn't want to go to the youth group at first, but for some reason i felt obligated to go. after all i am a "youth." i'm sure if there had been an obstacle of any kind, i would've chickened out but things worked out smoothly (i had a ride etc) and i figured i had no excuses. at the last minute i decided to go to the retreat. i kinda had a feeling there was something that the Lord wanted me to see, but i didn't know what. i resolved to just go with the flow and embrace it as a cross-cultural experience.

i had a very hard time jumping out of my comfort zone and spending time with these kids. on the drive over to the camp i doubted whether it was really worth it or not. i knew i wouldn't fit in. these kids' lives are so different from mine. they are hardened by difficult family situations and they live amongst the imminent pressures of society. they live in a culture that really saddens me. everyday at school they have to put up an emotional front to survive. there is so much pressure from the world to "be cool" and fit in. it hit me hard this weekend how difficult it must be to live in that world, and i realized how much i didn't fit in to it. i'm not cool. i'm quiet and reserved. when i want to tag along i always feel like a burden or a shadow. my social insecurities keep me from asking the things i want to ask or pitch in to the conversation. i don't talk like them. i don't think like them. i see the world from an entirely different perspective. i feel like i can understand what they go through but in a very detached sort of way. how can i relate? i thank god that i grew up apart from this but at the same time i am heartbroken and want to be part of their lives to love and minister. i want to be part of their lives but i don't want to live in their world or conform to their lifestyle. i wonder if there is a balance.

i call them kids, but really they are all around my age. i am smaller than most of them and had a feeling of being looked down upon the whole weekend. when asked my age, jaws dropped and eyes opened wide. "you have a job? you're homeschooled? i could never do that." they sorta crowded around me when i told them. i hated all the eyes on me, but just smiled and nodded. my replies to their questions were usually short sentences and i did lots of smiling and nodding, pretending to understand what they were talking about when pop music, rap or hiphop were brought up. (needless to say i was one of three white kids from all three churches that attended the retreat.)

the whole weekend, i knew there was a reason i was there. i didn't really know what to expect, but if i had any expectations they were all met or exceeded. the retreat part of the weekend consisted of on average 3 worships services/sermons per day, 5+ hours of free time when we could go swimming or play in the gymnasium (or sleep), small group discussions, rap-offs and dance offs (neither of which i took part), and eating very greasy camp food. the main speaker was very entertaining and liked to tell stories of the pranks he used to play on people when he was a kid (they usually had something to do with the message). the sermons mostly covered the gospel story, the topic of idolatry (who or what do you worship?), and the psychology of faith (who put that one in there, it was bad. i almost fell asleep). i only had a difficult time staying awake on the last day because i was on a major carb overload.

i made it through, managing to remain invisible for most of the time. well, there were a couple times i felt like a foreign specimen, but it wasn't too bad. i think i did more observing and people watching then i did anything else. once i actually went to the gym sat in a corner and watched people for 10-15 minutes till the gym was closed. it was very pleasurable.

if i took anything away from the experience it was just the realization that i am different and lucky. i am enabled to grow in my faith without the pressures of society weighing down on me, i can be myself freely without peer pressure to fit in or "be cool." i feel like i've learned the easy way by quiet studying and listening. i've gotten a glimpse of a different universe. i am overwhelmed with a desire to help, though i've barely even crossed the cultural boundary. i'm lingering on the edge it, dipping my toe in it. testing the water. it's frigid and sends a shiver up my spine. really lord? is this where you want to use me? i'm a stranger, how can i understand them?

sigh...

"...i will set you apart, but i will be your comfort."

ready.
set.
plug your nose.
close your eyes.
brace yourself.

and take the plunge.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

a lesson in delight.


Speaking of living in the moment and learning to delight in everyday things....

"Why! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the
water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love--or sleep in the bed at night with
any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds--or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down--or of stars shining so quiet
and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best--
mechanics, boatmen, farmers,
Or among the savans--or to the soiree--or to the opera,
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old
woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial,
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring--yet each distinct, and in its place.

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the
same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass--the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women,
and all that concerns them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

To me the sea is a continual miracle;
The fishes that swim--the rocks--the motion of the waves--the ships,
with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?"

~Walt Whitman

"I know nothing else but miracles"

in learning to delight in every day, these are the things i tell myself:
look around you and see the little miracles in the ordinary things around you. look at what you take for granted and see it for what it really is. what are the elements that make it up? appreciate the one who made it.

imagine. if circumstances were just a little bit different in your past, where would you be? if one little thing was out of place in the cosmos, where would life be now?

consider the wonderfulness.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Socrates on the immortality of the soul.

"the soul through all her being is immortal, for that which is ever in motion is immortal; but that which moves another and is moved by another, in ceasing to move ceases also to live. only the self moving, never leaving self, never ceases to move, and is the fountain and beginning of motion to all that moves besides. now, the beginning is unbegotten, for that which is begotten has a beginning; but the beginning is begotten of nothing, for if it were begotten of something, then the begotten would not come from a beginning. but if unbegotten, it must also be indestructible; for if beginning were destroyed, there could be no beginning out of anything, nor anything out of a beginning; and all things must have a beginning. and therefore the self moving is the beginning of motion; and this can neither be destroyed nor begotten, else the whole heavens and all creation would collapse and stand still, and never again have motion or birth. but if the self moving is proved to be immortal, he who affirms that self motion is the very idea and essence of the soul will not be put to confusion. for the body which is moved from without is soulless; but that which is moved from within has a soul , for such is the nature of the soul. But if this be true, must not the soul be the self moving, and therefore of necessity unbegotten and immortal?"

such things sooth me.

goodbye ordinary

Dearest Brothers and Sisters,


I am overwhelmed with joy at how much the Lord has blessed me since I returned home from Annapolis in December. I have found a great church and become friends with wonderful people. Everyday I thank the Lord, and I cannot believe what he is doing in my life. Day to day I struggle to put my trust in him, but he is always faithful. Everyday my hope is renewed and I am reminded of the power of his grace. He always provides. Even in the little things.


I received a word from the Lord yesterday at church through my friend, Amara. She wrote to me during service:
"God said about you while I was praying:
'My Word of Truth will come from your lips. It will set you apart from your peers but I will be your comfort.


"The word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.' 'Ah sovereign Lord,' I said, ' I do not know how to speak; I am only a child. But the Lord said to me, ' Dont not say, "I am only a child." You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 1:4-8


Ministry has been in the back of my mind lately, as I have been wondering how the Lord wants to use the gifts he has given me. He has blessed us with a wonderful gym and a great set of clients, and I delight in serving them. But I know that I serve the higher power in everything I do. I feel like this gift and delight I have in coaching is without worth if I don't use it for the Lord's good work. I was mulling these thoughts around between the time I received this word from the Lord and the end of church.


As service was closing and various people were giving announcements a guy named Dave Stalsbroten stood up to speak about "Urban Impact", a youth ministry program in the south Seattle area. He attends a church up north of Seattle and just happened to be at my church that day. His focus is in teaching youth in strength and conditioning using the CrossFit methodology, and he is currently in the process of affiliating. He has begun a mentoring program where he goes around to local schools and teaches highschool students about the CF movements and about nutrition. I was sort of appalled at the timing of this considering the Lord had just spoken to me minutes before.

The Lord gave me the courage to speak to him after the service, and I expressed my interest in getting involved. I told him my family's been doing CrossFit for a while and we own a gym about a mile away. He seemed very excited to have me on board. We exchanged contacts and he said he will get back to me very soon.


I've been struggling lately to put my complete trust in the Lord and I know that I need to learn to put his desires before mine. I want to let go of my worries and fears in being young and inexperienced so he can work in me, but I don't always know how. I've been reading a lot lately and have realized that the Lord doesn't always use the strong ones for his work. He picks out the ones that are especially broken and weak, have speaking problems, are downers, etc. As long as they have an ear to hear his words and are willing to say "Here I am" whenever He calls, He can use them. I really don't know what to expect, and perhaps that is a good thing. I just really need prayer. I want to trust in him and delight in him and do his good work. Please pray that I have an ear to hear what he has to say, and the courage to express it to the world.


Your prayers are heard. There is much evidence of that. thank you so much.


In Christ,
Kalli



Since I sent this out earlier this week, I have spoken to Dave again. He visited our gym last night to check out what we had going on, and he and Papa discussed youth mentoring in conjunction with CrossFit. After I had finished my workout for the evening and Dave had crushed the "Tabata Something else" we had a good talk about things. He wanted to know more about my heart for ministry (which I didn't know I had till Sunday, mind you) and my story. I told him I really don't know what to expect out of this, and I'm still seeking insight from the Lord. We agree that if I am to be working with kids of the Rainier Valley (which is where things are pointing at this time, but nothing is really clear and must keep an open mind), I will need to familiarize myself with their history and lifestyle. Both of which I am very much detached from, being white and homeschooled. He has been immersed in this culture for 3 years and said he is going to give me some good reading to do that he believes reflects what goes on in their culture. Just like every other topic, the greatest way to learn isn't by reading about the subject, but by immersing oneself in it and becoming part of its world. I don't know when exactly I will be immersed, but I do wish to make the most of what I have right now. God seems to be showing me only what the next step is, and telling me to trust in him fully to take care of everything.