Transition

The future is bright!

I was talking to Nate the other night about rite of passage, how most cultures and traditions have one event that declares for a person their entry into adulthood. Some cultures make incisions in the genitals, shave the heads, abuse the bodies, then are weighted with additional responsibilities. Women are goddesses, men are heirs. Adulthood is living up to these things.
In the modern american tradition it is a gray area. There is the option in our culture to remain in that gray area as long as pleases us. I remember from a very young age (10 or so) my dad told me"You're an adult now. I treat you like an adult, and you're going to act like one." But there was never a defining moment, and I seemed to only live off of the general connotation of the word, rather than defined points.

This summer in many ways seems to be a rite of passage for me into that larger world of responsibility. The incisions have been made inwardly. I've been lectured by the elders of my "tribe." Now it is real, the responsibilities, and the joys. I find that I'm building on the little queues and clues I picked up along the way during "childhood." I was never directly taught to be a good steward. This isn't an excuse not to be, but motivation to figure it out. Tap into the sources, read, ask the advice of those who have experience. Learning by experience takes on a whole new meaning.

More than dependence on people, there is a dependence on God that I have never known. For various reasons, I've felt like I've had JUST ENOUGH this summer. Things have happened JUST IN TIME. And I've come to find the strength JUST BARELY when it's required of me. I guess this is how God works more often than not. He likes the last minute, and reminds me

"What you don't have you don't need it now. What you don't know you can feel somehow.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY!"

(That's U2)

So really, I have no regrets. As long as I can see Jesus' face. As long as I know that he's called me to this summer. Called me to rejoice in EVERYTHING. I'm ok.

I'm savoring my last week at home. Off to college after the CrossFit Games in a week. Talk about emotional roller coaster. My main focus is staying healthy and getting recovered. I have much to do in the next few days. Party on Saturday. Pack for California. Send packages to Naptown. WHOOP!

2011 Reebok Crossfit Games. It's so unreal. It's so unreal it deserves an expletive. So unfuckingreal. You get it. I get to compete with my team at the HOME DEPOT CENTER. In front of a crowd. We get free clothes and shoes. We get to meet our heros. We get to be part of the badassest sport in the world. And we've earned our spot. The pain. The heat. The sweat. The blood. The tears. It's all going to be so fucking worth it.

You can tell I'm excited.

Then I'm off to Annapolis. My favorite place in the world. Called by God to this place to minister to the murky places. Proclaim freedom. Dance over the poor.

St. John's College. To study Great Books. Philosophy. Laboratory. Music. Ancient Greek. Euclid. Logic. History. Excited to be sharpened by intelligent people. Work hard and balance out by being social.

I've never been more excited about a single adventure in my entire life. I'm going to college. So unfuckingreal.

It's more than that. I get teach CrossFit to college students for work study. Aside from that I will be doing personal training, advertising myself in the wider Annapolis. Making a little extra money to save for Brazil next year, perhaps?

It's more than that. I will be part of a church family. Alive in the Body of Christ. Utilizing my gifts. Dancing ALL the time. This is the land that God promised me 5 years ago. There is no word but the Word of God. He is faithful to all His promises.

I'm making a transition out of this blog for now. I imagine in the next few years, I won't have much time to update in detail like this. I've kept this blog for 5 years, and it's morphed a lot. I appreciate all of you who have followed my life closely, mostly family. I hope you can see what God has done in my life and rejoice with me. Now I'm moving on. You can follow me on Twitter, as I update in single sentences during my adventure.

Also I got a personal training website up: Kallista Pappas in Annapolis

God Bless you all.

First thing I heard Him say this morning:

"I'm going to take good care of you today."





And just like that, life no longer threatens.

In this Summer life, God is..

PROVIDER

Initially moving up north to live with Allison was an inconvenience, but the little inconveniences have become great blessings when put up against His abundant provision. My friend John gave me an orca card (public transit pass) with enough balance to pay for bus fares for the rest of the summer. Now I don't worry about being stranded anywhere. I'm also not lacking in access to the gems of Seattle parks and recreation because now I have a bike (two actually).

Getting around isn't hard. From Greenlake, it's ten blocks in any direction to find a shopping center or coffee shop. It's 5 miles in either direction to the closest CrossFit Boxes. I've been visiting around on my days off. (It's fun how I can say now that I'm from Jet City CrossFit and people will say "that's awesome!" instead of "where the hell is that?") I'm getting people to show up at Jet City for a throwdown on Friday. It pays to get around and be social.

One special connection is Scott Rodriguez who owns Stoneway CrossFit by SPU. Bethany met Scott at her Level 1 Cert and they hit it off well. I didn't know him well, but heard he was a cool dude. When I started going to Mars Hill in Belltown, I got connected with a community group led by Jeremy Herring. Jeremy knows Scott through Corey McGee (Scott's business partner at the start of SWCF). They both go to Mars Hill in Ballard. It gets better. Joe (Allison's husband), who is a pastor at Bethany Community Church by Greenlake, goes to SWCF. You can imagine my delight at coming to find this connection. What is that? Three degrees of separation?

It makes me feel solidly integrated and welcomed BY GOD when I see that He has established community for me even long before I had to transit into the new living circumstances.

ADVENTURER

I set my feet outside my door on the sunny weekends and I ask Him to take me somewhere. There is an itching to get out of the house and find something new, something exciting, something grand.

One Saturday after work I ended up in Fremont because a homeless man I prayed for in downtown told me to go there to "fellowship, because people need me." It happened to be the Solstice Festival/Naked Parade that day. I hugged a creepy drunk guy clad in bright colors and bought bacon socks with Allison. It was a day of blessings. I kept my head up and heart open to where the Lord wanted me to minister.

One day I rode my bike to the University Village and enjoyed the ambiance with a chai latte, and journaled.

I rode to the U district for a prayer meeting about the abolition of modern day slavery, human trafficking, and prostitution, an issue that many of my Christian friends contend for. I found the meeting adventurous in itself as God revealed his broken heart to the saints and Holy Spirit showed up to lead us in unity and intercession. I left joyful, not despairing-- trusting that God is sovereign and relentless and hears the prayers of his saints.

I hunger for people watching and go to Greenlake to sit on the grass. I watch the crazy Seattle-clouds-dancing-with-sun sky reflect off the water and shimmer in the waves. People run, power-walk, bike, and skate by. Each so unique-- God teaches me a lesson in appreciating the beauty of variety.

I'm at the gym four days a week now, mornings and afternoons. We added an Olympic Lifting class twice a week. I've received great reviews about this class from clients. It is my favorite to teach, as we do less heavy work and lots of technical pvc work, mobility, and midline stability. We've spent several weeks with just pvc and barbell, and will spend several more. It feels good to start people from basics, and not be rushed or feel pressure to put heavy weight overhead (We have a Max for the Day session on Saturdays for this very purpose). The class favors the regular attender. I say it is just as much thinking as moving, but not to say it won't "kick your ass."

The hour commute is adventurous. I ride a creepy bus, but in general riding the bus is no longer daunting; the city feels accessible... not scary for once.

ROMANCER

My God is a wild lover.

I'm finishing reading a book called the Sacred Romance, which tells the story of our hearts and God's heart. It elaborates on our call to adventure and romance, how we each hunger and hope deep down for this kind of life. But alas, because of the Arrows of life, and Satan's schemes, we repress this desire and move into a life of quenched love and dead religiosity.

All the hurt we experience is part of God's design to win our hearts. We come to judge God because of the Arrows, but fail to recognize his Sovereignty over it all.

Would we rather live lives of quietness and routine than surrender to the tumultuous adventurousness of our lover's pursuits?

I am captivated.
"I am my beloved's and His desire is for me."

made to love

One of my favorites to dance to.

Awaken to the Wildness of God's Love

Diary of an Old Soul

'Tis hard for us to rouse our spirits up--
It is the human creative agony
Though but to hold the heart an empty cup
Or tighten on the team the rigid reign.
Many will rather lie among the slain
Than creep through narrow ways the light to gain--
Than wake the will and be born bitterly.

But we who would be born again indeed
Must wake our souls unnumbered times a day
And urge ourselves to live with holy greed
Now open our bosoms to the wind's free play,
And now, with patience forceful, hard, lie still
Submiss and ready to the making will,
Athirst and empty, for God's breath to fill.

George MacDonald

Batter my Heart

Batter my heart, three personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breath, shine, and seek to mend
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new,
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you but, oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend;
But is captive and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you and would be love fain;
But I am betrothed unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

John Donne

If you write for God you will reach many men and bring them joy.
If you write for men--you make some money and you may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while.
If you write only for yourself you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disgusted you will wish that you were dead.

Thomas Merton

6 weeks...

Left In Seattle.

My beautiful city. So busy, so full, always on the move...
The dust has settled since my move up north, and I'm able to breath a little and sink into my routine. Mornings are spent at the gym in Georgetown, nights are spent relaxing at Greenlake. I have lots of coffee dates scheduled this summer with friends, old and new. I'm so refreshed and not bereft of fellowship or nurture.

What this summer holds is not set in stone. I thrive on the spontaneity of God's blessing. I feel like I'm resting in that special place where I can receive and give freely. I am bright and powerful in His love. I am continually provided for in supernatural ways (i.e. finding random dollar bills on the bus to pay for my next fare, etc). Those who have provided for me in the past are distant, and I am learning to say confidently "The Lord is my helper; I shall not fear."

Until the CrossFit Games.

Yes. Not set in stone, I'm reminded. I make plans... and God laughs, it seems. He has better things for me. He draws me nearer to him... and with the things that have tired me out at that! I had planned to withdraw from CrossFit toward the end of the summer, to compete at regionals and then be done. Decompress. Refresh. Withdraw.

Clearly He had other plans. Not only am I diving deeper into community with my CrossFit family, I'm drawing nearer to the Lord in it. I'm receiving my Father's approval and honor, coming out of a time of dryness into a place of abundance and love. He draws us nearer to one another and, I hope, nearer to him.

The CrossFit Games. It's a crazy thought. I hadn't expected to go back until after college at least. I didn't want to compete individually this year because there is already so much on my plate going off to college and all. The team, though, is no problem. Regionals was simply one workout a day, then party/bbq at camp. ("Camp" was made up of 2 RVs, and a trailer full of toys--- mini bikes, bicycles, stereo system, bean-bags games, movie projector--- meat and fun. That was the focus.



There was plenty of meat and plenty of fun. But there was also victory, honor, and fame in store for our "Little Gym that Could." JET CITY CROSSIT, the gym of less than 40 members, put out an EXTRAORDINARY performance, placing third. The CF Games website made it sound like I led team. But really it was Andrew Gray, our Captain Mastermind and Strategist, who led us to victory. I cannot say enough good things about my teammates, my gym, and the experience


Until I'm 18 years on earth.

It is that time of my life. The time of which others have said is "the most influential of their lives." I'm inspired to savor. I think of how the eagle learns to fly. Mama bird shoves him out of the nest and he falls falls falls. She catches him moments before he hits and places him again in safety. The next day: shove-fall-catch-replace. Repeat. Until the little one learns to spread his wings and let the wind take him up. That's what it feels like to be almost eighteen, going off to college soon, having my own bank account, traveling on my own.... I know the wings are there, somewhere. Right now I'm falling... and trusting that Mama Bird won't let me hit the ground.

Until moving to Annapolis.

I posted on facebook that I have 6 more weeks left till moving. The people who liked it are in Annapolis. The people who disliked it are in Seattle. It's good to know that I am well loved where ever I am, and missed wherever I'm not.

In the meantime, I'll savor.