Let's talk literal

I'm sitting listening to Coldplay pandora. It's making me very happy hearing all my favorite songs one after another. It's late and my sleep is kinda wacky because I slept all day. It feels like morning; I just ate paleo pancakes. I'm still sick, so I'll probably hit the sack after finishing this post.

I realize I haven't done a "day in the life" sort of post in a while. Talking about my superficial life comes less naturally than talking about love and the soul, but I still think it's important to slip one of these in every so often to help maintain my identity as a human being, and not just a virtual floater. I'll try to update more often.

I've been sick for the last few days, and needless to say, in a valley spiritually. But I'm hanging in there.

I've been generally alone and unable to find fellowship lately. Though they are few, I'm grateful for the people who are here for me, like Nate and Allison. It perks me up to see them a couple times a week when I'm at the gym in the evenings. I feel for the first time that I am hungry for more than I am capable of asking for, but still he urges me "ask, contend, knock, fight." I don't always understand. I'm so tired of fighting for it. I really just want to lie down and rest, receive, and drink. I'm so ready to see the Lord's hand work in this place, see people healed, their eyes opened, and walking in the light of truth. It helps to think back to those times when I was overwhelmed by his blessings and realized that all I ever really wanted was more of Him. The treat is really in His eyes, not His hands. I've been praying with Laurel pretty consistently and it is really nourishing. It keeps me going.

I've been reflecting on the year. It has been a wild ride since visiting Annapolis last December. Many desires have been satisfied, my heart has gone through an incredible transformation. Life is alive now more than ever. Prospects are shining. I can't wait for the future, but at the same time constantly relearning to embrace the moment... the simple pleasures. Life is what happens to us when we're making plans. Live live live where you are, Kalli. I often have to remind myself.

I think of when Ruskin talks about beauty of REPOSE. It comes from God's restful I AM, versus the constant striving and reaching "I shall become" of mortal beings. I must simply BE, and allow the great I AM to rest over me and run through me. That I think, is what it means to live in the moment.

My heart aches to be back on the east coast. I crave the small town community and brick streets and the feeling of being a Johnnie. I crave the fruits of the classics, discussing ideas, having peers who are passionate like me! I'm sending all my applications in during the next couple weeks (except Marlboro because there is another essay I'll need to put together). Harvard Marlboro Stanford Dartmouth Middlebury. All such different schools, with attractive qualities and not so attractive ones....

I'm still waiting for someone to convince me that one of these is much better for me than SJC. That'll be the day...

Tuesday we will be watching a French film in class (my vote is for Jeunet's City of Lost Children). My oral final is Thursday. The same day, Aimee and her man-friend Donald are arriving to visit for 2 weeks! I'm really excited to see them. Acacia and Daniel are coming too, but I don't know when they will be here. Acacia sounds super stoked to be almost done with her senior year. It's funny to see her in a place I can never imagine myself being in. I'm so eager to be at school, she's so eager to be done! It makes me smile. Daniel's almost done with Airborne. He jumped out a plane I heard. Ooooh I can't wait to snuggle when they visit. It's gonna be so goooood.

No matter what is going on the glory and love of my Father overshadows the circumstances. I feel nearer and more aware of His presence now than any other time in my life. He pours out his words into my heart till I cannot hold them any longer and they end up on here. It's a good outlet.

I'm listening to Aqualung sing
What a feeling in my soul, love runs brighter than sunshine...

Goodnight.