Utterly blessed

Life. I'm relearning discipline and as a result appreciating more the times between toil. Instead of grasping for down time to sit and contemplate the Lord's goodness and listen for His voice, I work at what is before me with all my might and find that He is much more gracious when I am settling after a long day of disciplined work. This is His blessing.

I start up school tomorrow after a good 3 weeks off. I am refreshed by having Aimee and Don here, the short work weeks, and very little training. I'm back on the training now, back on the paleo wagon, back on the school. French 122 Hooray! I'm stoked to get in the classroom again. I feel like I belong there. It stimulates me. People. People stimulate me most of all.

Acacia and Daniel come in three days. They are both mightily adventurous; the next couple weeks with them will be awesome no doubt. I'm excited about a lot. This year holds so much. So much pertaining to "growing up." I resolve to remain a child in spite of everything. The most impending prospect is college. College. Oh my! I am reminded of the power and beauty of repose and the pleasure of discipline. Practical, normal, good ol' everyday life. Life is happening NOW. I am. This day is special. I love Seattle. I love the people I have here. I juice this experience, so to speak, of all its goodness... The Lord always instills rest in the midst of craziness. I feel like I'm learning loads about the practical Christian life, Christ's life as a human being, his suffering and coming to glory. Glory. Asking: seriously, what would Jesus do? It is a cliche, yes, but a very important question.

Would Jesus weightlift? ha.
I wrestled with this paradox: the reconciliation of Christianity and sport. Christ-exultation vs. self-exultation. Glory to my name!? It makes me sick. I wrestled with the thought of decreasing my life that the Lord may be more. But I realized how this is not necessary. I wrestled with the eternalness of the Lord's blessing, how much he wants to fill all of me with ALL of Him. How this is possible I do not know. Who am I NOT to be WHO I AM? Right? Right. He created me for a purpose, to love and be glorified, bear fruit, and do greater works! All I want is to remain in this creation, this purpose.
He says, "I delight in your strength!"

"I can still do so much more for you without you having to reduce yourself. Remain as you are, and I will come over you and make my glory shine in your eyes."

"How I want to make known your name in all the earth!"

I think of this verse often these days. I cannot get it out of my head:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship.
It is worship to offer what I have for the Lord's pleasure. "An aroma sweet to His senses." I work as for the Lord and not for man. I work with all my might. I work with humility...

The everyday things, including my training, being in the gym nearly 7 hours a day, leaves little time for community and fellowship with my friends. I miss Alisha a lot. She moved up north. I have Laurel. We talk and pray and this is a blessing. We talk about how people who grow up in church hearing the teaching of their leaders and pastors and community. I have grown in a situation that sucks in this respect, no church community to grow me up, no pastors to look to for teaching... but...
But, Laurel says, God is my teacher. He teaches and speaks to me directly. Who has such a luxury! I hear his voice directly, not through someone else.
Talk about blessed.

His glory is swallowing my existence.