It is not a question of our equipment but of our poverty, not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a question of natural virtues of strength, of character, knowledge, and experience-- all that is of no avail in this matter. The only thing that avails is that we are taken up into the big compelling of God and make His comrades. The comradeship of God is made out of men who know their poverty.
Oswald Chambers
I am coming to realize my poverty with respect to ministering to people. It's a hard thing to realize. I've never really been a "people person," on the contrary I'm quite antisocial, but my desire to love brings me to a place where I am comfortable interacting, and not just interacting, but pouring out and being filled.
The sweetest thing about being social, I think, is connecting with beautiful spirits and admiring them. There is risk in connecting with people, though, because you can see something you don't want to see that may cause you to grieve. And it is in this that I have recognized my poverty.
I find myself often at a loss of words when faced with a good friend's woes. It's really hard, because I know that the Lord never wanted this thing to happen to them, but it has and now his desire is for them to be free from it.
Here I am, lacking, poor, weak, merely human. Unable to really grasp the state of my friend's heart. Unknowing of the words that must be said or gestures that must made. Surrender, at this point, is not only what must be done, it is the only thing that can be done.
I'm beginning to realize that being a friend of God also literally means BEGGING of Him. It goes a long with understanding that only in our weakness, can His power be made perfect. Only when we go before him and BEG him to give us words to speak and make things right, because WE really aren't in control, does He assure us, "Yes, my child, I will be glorified." When we empty ourselves, he can draw near.
I find my heart panicking in the midst of relationships with people because I realize that I really can't love them on my own. One day I boast and praise God for his love, the next day I'm empty and have nothing to give. It is on those low days that I really recognize my poverty, and it is on those days that I weep and lay prostrate. Then I wake up the next morning, unsure of whether my words sunk in to that despairing heart, and there is a blessing, a confirmation, a word of encouragement, a song on my heart, that assures me His will is done.
Make me poor, and God be glorified!
I am now less afraid of how I will look to the world, in fact that matters very little to me. I've resolved to be a foolish child in all things. But I am becoming more and more concerned with how I make him look. Christians are notorious for making God look bad and this needs to stop. Really to the world, I'm just another hypocrite. Someone who stands on their soapbox and says one thing, but has an entirely contradictory way of life. To the world, Christians are self exulting, self-righteous, and over wise, things I am also guilty of.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Jesus acquainted himself with the lowest of the world, the tax collectors, beggars, prostitutes. He called them His friends. And he no longer calls us servants, but friends. In our poverty we become his friends. How much closer can you get with someone than allowing them to live IN you? We are taken up into his compelling, called to be holy, love and serve, feed his sheep and save nothing for the way.
Maybe the world will recognize something, not that we are powerful and prestigious, but maybe they will see something-- the disposition of Christ-- in the poor and humble spirits of the men and women He calls His friends.
God didn't choose me because I have something he can use. He chose me because I have nothing, so he will be glorified.
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