evolving

Hearts evolve.

Change is good. There is something really beautiful about change. I think the most precious times in my life are the times I've spent in reflection of how I've changed, and how people change. I look back and see who I was and don't like it. Then I see how I am and I smile and realize that only by the grace of God I am who I am. The funny thing is that years from now I will look back and appreciate the changes again and again. I hope to never stop changing.

All good change is facilitated by God. I think that's why it is so beautiful.

I've been in the midst of an evolution. It's been rocky. Sometimes I feel like I'm wandering or I've met a dead end. Sometimes I feel dry or unable to pray. This is how I know I am in a transition period. I know that when I feel in need of God then I am going through the fire and being molded by a gentle hand.


THINGS I AM CONTINUALLY LEARNING.

1. I'm learning not to strive, stretch or strain spiritually, namely to stop trying to control and just Be. Be true to myself. Be true to how I am created.

2. I'm learning to stop asking to KNOW his will, but as his child identifying with him, and BEING his will.

3. I'm learning to trust in the foundations God has set inside of me. Something I've realized about myself is this: I tend to remember always how I feel about a situation and act upon intuition, rather than reasoning. In most situations I don't like to sit and deliberate, knowing my intuition is God-given. When God tells me something, I will not doubt. I will not say "Did he really speak here?" The slightest hint of his word or guidance is the cue to throw all things upon him. (To this day, my intuition has not failed me, the Lord has not failed me.)

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."– Steve Jobs

4. "This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
1 Corinthians 2:13-14
My whole life and desires are set on this foundation of something that to the non-spiritual is completely foolish. When I begin to deliberate and use worldly reasoning, of course things will seem foolish. My faith requires that I reach beyond what is possible and trust in God to do the things that only he can do. I believe this encompasses the definition of faith.

5. I'm learning not to worry. With every blessing comes new responsibilities-- and it seems-- with new worries. But God does not want us to worry. I can say "OH, I have so much to worry about!" No I don't. God deliberately places burdens on us because he knows we will have to trust in him to bear alongside us. He knows we will have to seek him and draw closer to him. He doesn't want us to worry.



I feel like this blog has evolved and is evolving. I'm beginning to use it as an outlet for these thoughts and ideas that burn inside me. I am becoming confident in my voice, and beginning to understand that everyone in this world has something for someone. If I can touch just one heart, perhaps I can change the world. This blog isn't for everyone to read, just those that are seeking something. Perhaps in my words they will find what they are looking for.
I can't guarantee anything, but I know that God is clever and knows the motives of men's hearts and works in us all to will and act according to his good purpose.

So I've resolved to let loose, and not withhold these things that burn so hot inside me. I will let them speak for themselves. If you are reading this, you are interested and I thank you.

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 1 Corinthians 2:2-5

I write for His Glory alone.

My objective is a complete intimacy with my Lord Jesus.
"When once we get intimate with Jesus we can pour out all the time without being pathetic. The Saint who is intimate with Jesus will never leave impressions of himself, but only the impression that Jesus is having his unhindered way, because the last abyss of his nature has been satisfied by Jesus. The only impression left by such a life is that of the strong, calm sanity that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him." ~Chambers
I am assured that all things will flow from this.