Sweet smell of success... with little truth and jest

Yesterday I competed all four events, stuck everything except vault, and qualified for state! Floor- 8.15 This was one of the best routines of my season, but the judges didn't give me credit for a required element.
Vault- 7.85 I do a tucked Yurchenko which starts a 9.4. I fell on both but I did my vault for the first time in competition!
Bars- 9.275 I placed second. Let me note that the judges at this event are Olympic and National judges.
Beam- 8.75 I stuck my routine but with a few nervous wobbles. I'm capable of putting out a much better performance on this event, but this was decent enough.
AA- 34.025 I needed a 32.

We have three weeks of plain training before state, then after state comes Regionals and then Westerns but lets not look so far ahead. I have so much room for improvement, it makes me giddy. It's weird how I think of competition so much differently then I used to back in my old gym. Back then I would be totally satisfied with a 34 all around and would probably hold that constant score throughout the season. Now I think of it as there being 6 whole points worth of mistakes that can be perfected. Before I came here I didn't think perfection was possible. When I look at my teammates and see their scores of 38s and over it's intimidating at first and then I see what a true gymnast looks like and ask myself What do I lack? What is my TRUE potential?
Yulia says I need to see myself as who I want to be. I need to write down who I "am". I am beautiful. I am smart. I am strong. I am great. I am able. I can make the impossible look easy. I have hope...you get the idea. Only when these are all I think about is when I will see them in myself more clearly.

These are only intangible dreams without my Lord. He's been shaping my character. I've been thinking about what my dad said about how "God secures your salvation, training brings you to the top of your performance." He meant it in the sense that you can't trust in God alone to make you a champion. You need to train! This is understandable because you can't sit on the couch praying that you'll become a track star and actually expect that it will happen. This is how I look at it: I think of God as another trainer, but more in the ways of morality and character, like Papa, except He's ALWAYS there to give strength to maintain mental composure under pressure. My ability to rely on him under pressure is key to my performance. He's there to cue my conscience when I'm in a position to forget. Things like “Have Fun” and “I'm proud of you” “Don't forget I love you” are the things I hear from Him. These are the things that remind me that I'm ready to do my job. All I need to do for Him is put Him before gymnastics and let him change me. This, I feel, is the only way to be truly successful and truly satisfied.

This statement is the first real opinion I've posted up here. If you know me well you're probably wondering how in the world I did it. I have my own opinion! wow. ok ok truth and jest. Let me tell you something about myself: I'm sometimes such a people pleaser that I will rarely speak for myself and have my own opinion. This is so absurd that I'm trying to post something up here that will tell my conscience to get over it! so maybe I can be free to think for myself. What do I need to justify? You might be able to imagine what this feels like. And ladies and gentlemen she steps OUTSIDE HER COMFORT ZONE!!!! you should be proud of me.
Now that I've established my self as a total dork.... I will say:
Cha cha for now